Life is Not Always What It Seems

Seeing the World Through a Different Lens

Dear Readers,

As children, the environment we grow up in and the people we are surrounded by is our reality and truth. We don't know any different. 

The way we are treated, the words that are spoken to us, the actions that people take against us is the norm. It seems like that is how everyone grows up. Why would other households be any different? Aren't they all the same?

But then we do grow up and we realize this is not necessarily the norm. Actually, it might be very outside the norm. There is a period of time when we go from being children in a very controlled and isolated environment to adults living in an extremely large world. We begin to see our childhood through a completely different lens.

Part of that lens includes looking at people from a different perspective. People can hurt others in so many different ways. The easiest scars seen by most people are the visible ones. The marks that leave an imprint on the body. But what about the invisible ones? The ones that are just as damaging, but hide in the brain, the thoughts, the self-esteem?

My principal and I were talking recently about something we had read. That when you are out in the woods and a bear chases you you have that fight or flight instinct. You run. Your adrenaline is high, your anxiety is high and you literally are in a state of panic and fear. However, once you are safe again, your body "resets" itself and you return to a "normal" state.

What if you brought that feeling home with you every day? What if you lived in a constant state of anxiety and panic? What if that feeling never went away?

Sometimes when people suffer from an addiction, such as alcoholism, their words, actions and behavior can overshadow what else is happening in a household. You see the person drinking, you hear the person being argumentative, you can smell it on them.

But what about the person who is quiet about being abusive? The person who manipulates and plays mind games? The person who appears to be the victim, but is actually causing turmoil and anxiety in someone else's life? 

Sometimes when people are separated (just like with our students) you see them in a different light. You see their true self because there is nothing to hide behind.

What about the victims in these situations? We keep quiet because that's what we are taught to do. We are ashamed, embarrassed, scared and isolated. We feel like we have nobody to turn to. We are scared. We think nobody will believe us. So we hide it. We learn coping strategies. We move through life.

But then one day we grow up. We realize the way we were treated was not okay. We learn to speak up and speak out. We seek friendships and relationships outside that toxic circle that was our life. 

In the process we distance ourselves from people we love and care about, but know our health and well being is essential. We make decisions others may not understand or agree with.

But we become healthier individuals in the process. We find ourselves outside of that circle of conflict. We learn that we have no reason to be embarrassed or feel ashamed or fear. We find amazing people to surround ourselves with. We build a life with loving, caring and supportive people who accept us for who we are. 

To anyone who knows exactly what I am talking about......

You are special.

You are loved.

You are cared about.

It's not your fault.

Warmly,

Teresa